Team this week has been a weird roller coaster for me and quite honestly a struggle to write this blog. There were big successes this week, our police training videos are now on YouTube and doing well in views and comments, the school year ended, Taiya received straight A’s, Dreana bought a new car and moved into a new house, Trey got his first job, and Andrea traveled out of state for business. All great accomplishments that I should have been celebrating, but for some reason I just felt off this week. I could not figure out why I was feeling this way. I just did not feel like doing the things I knew I needed to in order to move forward. I did not write in my book, did not write this post on time, and instead spent time watching a mindless Netflix show for no real reason.
This morning I woke up and realized why I was feeling this way. I could not truly celebrate their victories because inside I knew I could have been better this week. I knew that by not writing in the book, not connecting on the blog, not doing the little things daily, that I was not moving forward I was moving backwards.
I was becoming what I fear most in life. Becoming someone who is just going through the motions day to day. My habits this week were completely average and inconsistent with my expectations of myself and the expectations of what I plan to achieve.
So, I share this with you all just to be real and to say it’s ok to have an off day or week. It is ok to not be at your best all the time and you don’t have to pretend you always are. The key is to really self-assess your own performance and make the changes to get things going again. That could be an accountability partner, good friends, or just a long conversation with that person you see in the mirror every day.
For me it is writing and sharing this blog with all of you. The sharing of my plans and ideas, most definitely holds me accountable and does not allow me to feel self-pity or sulk for long. I know someone today, tomorrow, or next week will ask me about the book, the blog, or something else I’ve said I’m working on. So, thank you for being there now I’ll get back to writing!